TRUST ME; I'M LYING.

"Whoever controls the media controls the mind." - Jim Morrison

One of the biggest challenges faced by the society today is controlling their own mind. How often do we see a person with an original opinion? How often do we value a person’s opinion? Be it something as major as wanting a particular prime minister, to something as trivial as choosing a movie to watch, we blindly follow what the media says; rarely questioning it. Being a media student myself, I still come under its influence. No, I’m not trying to say “Lady Gaga wants to control our minds”. That is not the case. She is simply a small part of the huge system that is the mass media.


Mass media are media forms designed to simply reach the largest audience possible. They include TV, movies, radio, newspapers, magazines, books, records, video games, and the internet; basically everything under the sun. We don’t see such a large network of communication owned by the common man. It’s for the common man, by the elite. Confused? Let me break it down for you. When Reliance (owned by Mukesh Ambani, one of the richest men in India- elite, didn’t I tell you?) took over Network 18, which owns CNN IBN-one of the best news channels in India- nobody was surprised to know that it was the death of Media Independence. Following the takeover, was a massive drop in the information provided to us on the negative side of Reliance Industries Ltd. And when we do not see (or not allowed to see) the negative aspect of a situation, we blindly believe that the subject in the situation came straight out of the Bible. Does this mean that our independence to think freely and have our own opinion is under danger? One word, yes. Your brain is dead meat.
My point is that an ignorant population does not know its rights, does not seek a greater understanding of issues and does not question authorities. It simply follows trends. It simply follows the media. Popular culture nurtures this ignorance by continually serving them some brain-numbing entertainment. Some feed them by spotlighting degenerate celebrities to be idolized. I’m not saying media’s influence is always bad. My point is that the extent to which you let it influence you is bad. If you ask me, “Is there a way to stop this?”  Yes, there is.
STOP BUYING THEIR CRAP AND MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS.

True, that media just influences us and our decisions are our own, but what if you’re influenced to such an extent that you believe there are no choices? Let me give you few examples from different sectors.

1. When we elected for Mr.  Narendra Modi, as Prime Minister, (Oh please, you and I both know we didn’t vote for BJP, we voted for Modi) how many of them truly weighed pros and cons that would follow, and how many of them went with the herd? Around 65-70% of India’s population would fall under the second category. Modi, with his excellent PR and Advertising agencies, wiped out the thought from our minds that other candidates existed too. Remember the famous slogan, “Abki baar Modi sarkar”? Remember how memes and statuses emerged up in thousands of numbers and everybody was sharing it? Yes, it seems funny now, but go back in time and think about it. If it wasn’t for the media’s influence, would you really be campaigning? In fact, half of them didn’t even know that in the process of posting a status as a joke, they were indirectly campaigning for him.

2. Justin Beiber. How many of you hate him? Woah, that’s a large number! Okay, hands down. I’m not a fan myself, but why do you hate him? If you have a genuine reason, then you’re excused, but if you don’t, then whose influence are you under? The media.  Half the people don’t even know why they hate him. They haven’t heard his songs, they haven’t seen the videos, neither have they seen him making out with a guy. But no, they choose to look beyond the obvious and hate him.

3. Ever got a shampoo with some hope to have hair like Katrina Kaif? Finished the disgusting packs of Kellogg’s K to get a figure like Deepika Padukone? Even flaunted a style like Tom Cruise from one of movies, or tried talking like Benedict Cumberbatch from Sherlock Holmes? What are you really doing there? If it weren’t for those serials and advertisements, which product would you choose? Whose style would you copy? The media packed these products like little Christmas presents and kept them there, and man, were you fast in grabbing the presents or what!

4. Finally, the social media! We live in a generation where a life without Facebook, WhatsApp, and YouTube isn’t considered a 'life' in the first place. “Dude, what’s your Facebook ID?” “Uh man, I don’t have one!” “What!? Dude, get a life!” We don’t notice how we keep going back to our pages, like how I keep coming back to this blog, we keep checking for notifications, and we let online game rule our world. Of-course, we live in an era where social media is necessary to show our existence on earth. But at times- influenced by media- we fantasize about our life so much, that we lose perspective of it.

“If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, it expects what never was and never will be.”

– Thomas Jefferson

THESE SCARS WILL STAY FOREVER

“SHE WAS RAPED AND THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO. THESE SCARS THAT STAY FOREVER HELP ME FORGET THAT.”

Never give in to self-harm. Always ask for help.

Long walks help.

Especially if you've had a bad day, and you enjoy your own company, then take a long walk alone. That’s what I do. Keep your phone away; keep that iPod on your table. Go out, empty handed, and look around. Think. Or don’t think, it’s up to you. But long walks help. Few change your mood. Few change your day. Few change your opinions and judgement forever.

It wasn't a very warm day, as it usually is in Manipal. The rains had lowered the temperature noticeably, and I decided to do what I do very often. Take a walk alone. After what seemed like an hour or so, I ran into one of my friends from college. No, she was not a friend at that time. I did a quick math in my head, if I should acknowledge her presence or not. Usually, I wouldn't think so much. I’d just wave at the person and walk past them if I recognized them. If I knew them well, maybe I would stand and talk to them for a while. But I didn't want to do either when it came to her. I don’t think anybody did. What was so weird about her? I had asked myself the same question few times; I’d asked the others the same question too. “She seems to be a bit… off? Don’t you think?” was the usual reply. “She’s a creep!” was the other reply, which was a bit rarer. So, being one of the people who considered her a bit “off”, I decided to ignore her. I walked two steps ahead, maybe three, and I heard a voice call out my name. It was her. “Hey, oh wow, hi! My eyesight sucks! What are you upto? Going somewhere?” I blurted out (God, the random things that came to my mind out of guilt), quite surprised because this girl qualifies to be an introvert, very silent, very shy. “No, not going anywhere bee! (That’s what they call me!) Too lazy, join me?”

Oh no, please, not her. “Sure”, I managed with a smile and sat next to her on the pavement.

“How’s life bee?”

“Not all that bad! Manageable! What about yours? And hey, why have you been missing classes? You’ll run low on attendance and the semester’s gonna get all fucked up!” (Now this was what I have to tell my classmates and fellow college goers. I am one of the representatives, and it was my ‘duty’, but frankly, I enjoyed the responsibility, and I do care.)

“Yeah, about that, I've been sick, so, I guess I’ll just try to find a way out of it!” She said, fidgeting.

My gaze automatically went down to her hand, and I noticed something. Something I just couldn't ignore. “What’s that? Have you been cutting yourself? Hey if there’s anything you need to talk about, anything at all, I’m here!” I said, shocked that this girl, who seemed to act all strong when spoken to, was actually a victim of self harm.

“It’s nothing. Don’t tell anybody, I beg of you! Please!”

“Are you mad? Of course I won’t tell anyone, but why this?”

And she began. She had been missing all those classes because she had to visit a shrink every other day. To erase all those memories and to get rid of those nightmares, she went. When she was not even old enough to know what ‘rape’ meant, her mother was raped. And what’s worse, she was raped by her husband, in front of this girl. You and I can probably never imagine how horrific that moment must have been for her. Marital rape is still not considered ‘rape’ by a lot of people in our country, because the husband has ‘rights’ to use his wife if and when he wishes to, according to them and vice-versa. But that isn't true. Marital rape is a serious crime that needs to be spread awareness about, more in the rural areas than in the urban. Nobody has the right to force themselves upon a person; emotionally or physically. Nobody can violate your privacy without your consent, please remember that. If you are a victim of any abuse, then talk to somebody about it. Get help. Remember, you deserve better than that. At the age of 11, her father left. He left his two daughters, and his unemployed wife, and went to live on his own. In such a situation, her mother had to come up with an immediate alternative to support the family, and she started off as an assistant tailor in one of the small Boutiques in the city. Seeing her mother being mistreated by her husband, by her family, by the society and by her own sister, she never had anybody to confess to. She slipped into depression by 10^th grade, and became a victim of self harm by 12^th grade. Not just self harm, but suicidal attempts. And this change in her emotional capacity has actually scarred her for life, and the truth is that she will never be able to get over it. Every minute, every second, someone becomes a victim of self harm. Someone is fighting a battle with themselves, but what they don’t know is that they will never win against it. These scars, which are supposed to relive them from pain, are marks of those memories that they want to forget, but how are they forgetting it, when they are carving it on themselves forever? Anybody who is reading this post, who is going through this, remember that you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem to be, and smarter than you think you are, and that things will be okay if you talk to someone about it. If she hadn't told me her story that evening, she would still be the “creep” whom I wanted to ignore. We often judge people so easily by how they appear to us and not by how they actually are. We classify them into good or bad, sane or insane, fun or boring the very first time we speak to them. That is a fact about them. But not all facts are the truth. Every person has a story. Every person is fighting a battle of which we know nothing about. Every person has something to show, and a lot more to hide. And everyone has something good about themselves, just waiting for us to notice it. Be kind.

Go on long walks, look around and you’ll see things. See them even closely, and you’ll notice them. Notice them to find something different. Let that difference influence you. Let that influence change your perspective. Let that perspective change your way of life, and let your way of life change the world.

Lean in; maybe you’ll hear her whisper. Maybe that’ll change your life.