THE DIARY OF A SINGLE CHILD

Is being the only child really an issue?

“So, you have a brother?” I asked.

“Yeah, he’s such a pain in the ass!” She said.  

“It must be fun though, right?”

“Oh let me guess, the only child? No siblings?” she asked.

“Yeah”, I tried my best to hide the disappointment.

“Typical spoilt brat you must be then!”

What? I mean, what just happened? It was the first day of college, and hello, I barely knew this girl for 5 minutes! I mean, out of all the people, I hadn’t judged her yet, and in less than 5 minutes I was moved from “She seems like a nice girl” to the “She’s a spoilt brat” category! Trust me; I just don’t know how that happened. And it wasn’t the first time either.

Till my 4^th grade, I’d never really felt bad about being the only kid. To be honest, it was fun! I got the attention; I didn’t have to share my toys, my books. I didn’t have to borrow anything. Basically, I thought being the only child was amazing! And my belief just grew stronger when I hung out with my friends. Note this, all of them had siblings! And every single time, all I heard was “You’ve no idea how lucky you are!” and I thought I was. Now, I won’t completely deny the fact that I’m lucky, because I never ever EVER had to fight for food, or even worse, share it. Until one day, I was alone in my home, locked in for my own safety, and I heard my neighbor laughing. She was younger than me, her brother was my age, and they were playing. I wanted to go out and play with them like I always had, but I realized that they didn’t ‘need’ me there! They were happy, spending time together, and I was home, locked up, and bored. When my mom returned, I decided to go and tell her what I’d been practicing all afternoon. “Mom, I want a baby” I barked out. “What?” “No no, I mean, I want you to have a baby. I want a brother!” Of course, this came as a shock to my mom, because I had never brought up this topic before! But I didn’t stop there. I told my dad, I told my cousins, and I told everybody I knew, that I wanted a brother, or I was going to bring my cousin home and keep him. “Keep him”, can you imagine? Like he was a toy or something! My parents didn’t take me seriously, until the 7^th grade. I came back home one day; crying. I’d seen my classmate take help from her elder brother who studied in the 11^th grade. It wasn’t a big deal really, but I came back home with a cloud of depression hanging over me. And, it lasted for days. Every time I’d see siblings, I’d get really emotional and start wondering how it would be if I had a brother. Would my life be better? Hell yeah. Would I have fun? Yes, obviously. Would my life suddenly have a rainbow over it? Yeah, is that even a question? This continued till my parents considered adoption seriously, and started off with the paperwork. And man, was I happy or what? I imagined a completely different life, like; I don’t even think I can explain it to anybody! Until one day, I just woke up to feel nothing. It was sudden. I just didn’t feel anything. I walked up to my parents and told them I didn’t want a brother. That’s all. I think my parents did hate me for a few minutes there because I was barking out bullshit. But I made it final, I didn’t want siblings. “Why?” they had asked. “Because I want all the property for myself.” I had answered.

But that’s not why I told them I didn’t want a brother. Of course, I’m happy about the property and the food, but really, that isn’t the reason! I’m never going to say I’m lucky for not having a sibling. I would have had someone to look up to maybe. I would have had someone to drive away my boredom with. I would’ve had someone to share my thoughts and feelings with. I would’ve had someone to be there for me even when my parents aren’t around in this world anymore. I would have, but I don’t. And that’s my life. But I would never say I am unlucky for not having a sibling either. And this is why. All my life, I’ve heard the stereotypical comment “You must be a spoilt brat!”, but I can assure you, at this very moment, that almost none of the kids who’ve had no siblings are spoilt brats! People often think that we get everything we want, and that we are pampered beyond belief, that we live life on our terms. It isn’t true. Our parents are well aware of the consequences, and they make sure we beg around 10 million times for something before we actually get it. In cases like mine, I actually have to wait for a teeny achievement or my birthday, to get stuff. Yes, we do get things in an easier way, compared to the kids who have siblings, but hey, we didn’t get what they will always have; a playmate in the form of a sibling! I agree that we don’t have to share things, but instead of making us arrogant, it usually makes us more considerate because we were never forced into sharing against our will. Sometimes, it’ almost like we don’t know how to say no to people because we’ve never had to do that! I never had to compete for my parents’ attention, and because I didn’t have siblings, my parents became my best friends. And believe me; I’d never be more thankful towards anything than that! We end up extra responsible because our parents don’t have anybody to expect from except us. We are the eldest kid in the house, and the youngest, and we never have anybody to blame except ourselves! No partner in crime! Our best friends become our brothers/sisters in all but blood because we see the ideal sibling in them and we cherish them! Often, single kids end up becoming more confident because they don’t really know what it is to be compared with a sibling. The other reason is that we’re often eager to get some company of our own age, that we push ourselves to go ahead and talk to strangers, make friends, find company, and this is one trait that will help us throughout our lives. But the one I love the most is that I can be an introvert or extrovert by choice! All my life, I’ve had no choice but to mingle with people, which I do enjoy, but at times, when I’m alone, I never feel lonely, because, over the years, I’ve learnt to appreciate and enjoy my own company, which was the reason I decided I didn’t want a brother. I could go on listing different reasons, but that’s not the point. The point is, we need to break the “single child” stereotype. No, life isn’t what you think it is for us! We’re not all brats, and we’re not sitting on a bed of roses! Personally, I would never want my child to be the only child, but hey, if you are one, just like me, and if you think it sucks being alone, then lean back, take a deep breath, go in front of a mirror, and say “Life is awesome!” because trust me; there will come a time when you know you are the best sibling you can ever get, and that you don’t need anybody else to face the world. There will come a time when you know things will be fine, and life will go on. And, also, you have a great chance of getting all the property! Till then, lean back and enjoy that slice of pizza, which you don’t have to share. Not everybody’s that lucky!