HOW ABOUT A PET PLANT?

Horcrux and me with Horcrux.

“Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete? Proving nature's laws wrong, it learned to walk without having feet. Funny, it seems to by keeping it's dreams; it learned to breathe fresh air. Long live the rose that grew from concrete when no one else even cared.” ― Tupac Shakur, The Rose That Grew from Concrete

“What?” Rakshan asked.
“My pet plant” I said.
“I didn’t know people had stuff like that!”
“Nobody does. It’s just my pet plant!” I replied.

All my life, I’ve never really had a pet that stayed with me. Oh wait, I don’t mean my pets hated me and that’s why they didn’t stay with me. No, that’s not what I mean. Let me give you an example. So, when my dad finally decided to get me a puppy, in 3^rd grade, I was more than happy! But a week after ‘Jimmy Sr’ and I shared 23 hours a day playing with each other, the previous owner decided to pay a visit and cried over the fact that his son was missing the puppy, and that he wanted to take it back home. ‘WHAT! Are you serious? Your son hates dogs! That’s why this puppy is with me! Get out uncle! Go get your son another puppy, Jimmy Sr is mine!’ was my mental response. “Oh, but, I really like him. Doesn’t your son want any other puppy? Oh okay, you can take him” was my actual response. What did you expect? I was a helpless 3^rd grader, that’s all. Few months passed, and after hours and hours of begging, my dad got me another puppy! Jimmy Jr! This was during my final exams, and even if it was just 3^rd grade, my mom asked my dad to keep the puppy away for a few days, so I could study. Well, it was just a puppy and it fell in love with its temporary owner, and I didn’t get it back. The third (and the last attempt) was in 7^th grade when my dad finally got me another puppy! Jimmy the Third. By now, you must have realised that I have a thing for the name-Jimmy.  Want to know what happened to this one? Nothing. I sent it to my brother’s place to let him train my dog. And it stayed there. Yes, I know; pretty depressing.

But dogs were not the only pets I had. I’ve had my fair share with rabbits, which didn’t last long. A hamster; which my brother stole when I wasn’t home. Love birds; loads of them, which I couldn’t cuddle or anything, but hey, I got to see a lot of action, the eggs that followed, and some cute little chicks (or baby birds, whatever) that joined the family. But they got really old, and we had to give them away to a young boy, who took them home with great joy and hope. I heard they died within a week. Poor boy. The most wonderful experience I have had with pets is when a street cat- which I rescued when it was a kitten- decided to make love to my neighbour’s cat and ended up pregnant! Was I happy or what! And 3 kittens became a part of my life! But that was not it. The cat got pregnant again, but this time, 5 cute kittens were born! And that was how I got Thoppe, my kitten! This kitten was born huge, like super huge and it grew up to just grow fatter and fatter!
But yeah, like every other not-so-happy ending, I had to give all of them away because I was going away to college, and my parents couldn’t take care of such a huge number. Amidst all this mess, I realised I already had a pet, which I never noticed; my plant.

In April of 2013, I suddenly woke up one day and decided I wanted a plant. Okay, it wasn’t so sudden. I’d watched the movie Orphan, and I was so fascinated by those white roses in the movie, I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. There were around 50 plants in my home already, but I decided I wanted one of my own. And that’s how the plant with white roses ended up in my home. Till I wrote this article, my plant was called ‘The plant’. I realised how depressing that sounded, so I decided to name it Horcrux; a part of my soul. Let me tell you something. Having a plant for a pet isn’t a bad idea at all. If you can, you should try it out too! It doesn’t poop, and that’s the biggest advantage. It’s helping you live, like literally, by providing oxygen. It listens to you, and it doesn’t judge you. Neither does it get cuddly, nor does it walk away. There is no way I can develop an allergy to it, and I don’t find fur all over my bed. Horcrux is the most saint-like creature I’ve ever met; just sitting in a corner, with a halo over it. Asking the plant for advice is like asking me what calculus is. The plant doesn’t speak. It doesn’t know English. The plant will sit there and stare at you till you come up with your own advice. See? Life skills. We all know that having a pet puts you into the ‘less likely to be depressed’ category immediately, even if your pet is a plant. Another positive aspect of it is that you never have to exercise or run around, which you need to do if you have a dog. You never have to share food. Ever. You’ll never feel lonely either. And the best part about Horcrux is that it never grew bigger than what it was when I saw it. But you might not be that lucky.

Basically, my point is, if you’re crying over the fact that you are lonely in life, or that things have fallen apart, or if you just want a pet and your parents refuse to get you one, then go ahead and buy a plant! Talk to it, treat it like a human, care and nurture it. Believe me, it’s completely worth it.

And also, now that you all know I have a saint-like plant for a pet, we’re going to have one “shrink session” with it, every week (whether you like it or not) which involves a few Q&A’s about life. And love. And all the other bullshit, to gain knowledge on what it means to a plant. Till then, take care.

With love (and some brain fertilizer),
Horcrux & Owner.