SO YOU THOUGHT EXTENDED PERM TIME WOULD BE FUN?

"It’s Saturday! Can’t wait to chill in my room." (Wait, what?)

- Every student who isn't a freshman

Hello everyone! Hi again! I know, it’s been a long time and well, for those who were wondering if I had died- bad news- I haven’t. But hey! ‘Better late than never’, no? (Not always.)

Anyways, coming to the point, guess who’s in their second year of college? ME! I made it, I survived freshman year and here I am, two months into second year, and I must say… there is nothing similar between the two years.

Let’s start with college! In freshman year, everything seemed so amazing! WOW, COLLEGE! WOW, PEOPLE! WOW, CLASSES! WOW, TEACHERS! WOW, ASSIGNMENTS! And other things too- WOW, CLUBS! WOW, PARTIES! WOW, PLACES! WOW, LIFE!
Second year? OH GOD, COLLEGE! GOD… CLASSES! (In some cases- GOD… LACK OF CLASSES!) OH NO, PARTIES! OH NO,PEOPLE! OH MY GOD ‘EVERYTHING’, PLEASE GET OUT OF MY FACE!

Yes, I know- major difference! But no change is greater than the way you spend your time! I’m going to focus on that. Let me begin!

Well, in some universities, like mine, second year students and above have the privilege of an extension in perm time. Some colleges have the same curfew for all students, and some don’t have a curfew at all! Honestly, when I had a curfew of 9:30pm, I couldn’t stop cribbing, thinking that I could change my whole life if I had a better perm time! That was in my freshman year. In my second year, we no longer have to come back to our rooms at 9:30pm. We can stay out till 10:30pm! One hour extra, that’s all! More time equals more things to do, right? But suddenly, you don’t know what to do with so much time… like all the extra time you have, which is basically just an hour, will still manage to drive you crazy! You go all “Um, got to find new ways to spend this time! Got to put it to good use! So… let us parttyyyy!” Yes. That is the ‘good use’! In the first month, when you’re just back from home, you’re like “damn, now that I have time, I can’t go back early to the room and waste it, I’ve got to do something… anything!” And like you promised yourself, you do go out. You meet new people. You look at your juniors; you totally judge them. That’s probably because they are like 12345345234 times hotter than you are or ever will be. (I wonder what our seniors thought of us!) It’s worse when the juniors don’t care about your existence. We should matter, shouldn’t we? After all, they’re still embryos. Reality check- nobody cares. They get their shit together within two days.

Coming back to partying, you suddenly find all the places crowded with freshman year students, obviously excited about everything in life, and realization dawns upon you… “Oh my god, I’m no longer important!” Well, guess what? It’s true. So you eventually get bored and irritated of the noise, and you leave. And then you never feel like going back to place which was practically your home in freshman year.

I think being in the second year is the worst feeling ever. The freshmen become the centre of attraction- it’s like childhood again; they’re the shiny new toys. And you have your seniors; the final year students who suddenly become so important because they’re somehow running half the college now. And what do you become? You are the second born child (Is that even a thing? I don’t know how to put it!)… I think that explains everything.

By second year, you find a way to deal with stress and assignments and other bullshit like that, and they no longer drive you crazy like they did in the first year. Not that the work load is any less, it’s just that ‘completing it’ becomes more important that ‘giving your best’, and you scrape through it. Like, in first year, we usually go “oh man, exams are almost here! Gotta study! Gotta score well! Gotta top the class!” and other things like that! Second year? “Dude, exams are here! What marks would I need to pass? Okay then!”
Yes. Hopeless.
Of course, there are few who would prefer dying over getting a mediocre GPA, but… we’re not talking about them. We’re talking about humans.

In the first year, I think we focus on getting to know everything about the place and the people- so much, that we actually don’t end up seeing more than half of it! It’s only in the second year, that you’re used to doing things you almost always do, that you make time to do new things, see new places and actually go around meeting new people. You meet new people every semester. Friends change every semester. That’s life, face it! Eventually, you get introduced to new subjects and you realise that you’re actually interested in something else, and not the ‘life goal’ you came to college with. That shit will happen no matter what, because interests keep changing and so do people. Just make the most of everything you get.

You start putting your time into things that are more productive and not just ‘fun’ or ‘new’, is that what they call growing up? I don’t know (because if that is ‘growing up’, I’m clearly bad at it!). It’s still September. I guess we’ll know that by the end of this year!

Until then, let us survive college.

P.S: I miss high school.

FRESHMAN YEAR (EXPECTATION V/S REALITY)

Hello again, everyone! I know, I know, it’s been an extremely long time, and I’m really sorry about that! I’m writing because I’m finally done with a crazy semester and I’m home for my summer break! What can I say, college can be hard! Talking about college, now that I’m done with my freshman year, let’s just take a walk down the memory lane and see if what you expect out of college and what you get are actually the same! Before anything else, can I ask you something? You have 96%? You have 69%? Good! Because nobody cares! Literally no one cares in college! Okay, I had to clear that up before anything else!

I started my first year of college on 21^st July, 2014. How time flew, I have no idea! We all dream of college, and how our life would dramatically change once we step in! That’s what I thought too! But here’s what happened when I stepped into college for the first time- I FELL DOWN. I know, what a fail, right? I walked through the gates and the next thing I know, I’ve landed on my bum and I’m looking up for help in shock and disbelief. That should explain something about college- it can be fun and embarrassing too! But it won’t be the end of your life! Embrace it and you’ll make the most out of your first year!

Freshman year is supposed to be the toughest year of college life, and it’s true! You’ll be new to the place; you’ll be new to the people! Your expectation v/s reality list ends up on two different planets! So, let’s begin!

First things first! If you think you can stay in contact with all your old friends and still bond so closely, you’re wrong! Of course, you do stay in touch, but is it the same as before? Definitely not! People get busy with their own lives and you probably end up staying in touch with two out of 20 people! Reality- deal with it!

Two! If you think you’re gonna stay a diva for the rest of your life, college will change that for you! You’ll put your best effort to look like a model in the first month! By the 3^rd month, you’ll probably be walking into class in pajamas or track pants! Believe me, it happens! Especially if you’re staying away from home, in a dorm, because people see you in the best of your outfits and also your worst! So, it’s advisable to pack more pajamas than jeans!

Three! You’ll make friends and they’ll stay with you till the end of college life- FALSE. It’s amazing how the group of friends you hang out with tend to change with every semester, and you find yourself mingling with everyone in one or the other way! Few friends stay throughout your college years, but that won’t be more than 2 or 3 people!

Four! No homework and a lot of free time! FALSE, FALSE AND FALSE! I don’t know if there’s anything worse than this assumption! You’ll be loaded almost every other day with assignments and homework! Few of them even have weekly tests! Yes, I know, sorry to break your bubble!

Five! Coffee becomes your best friend! A year ago, I used to detest coffee and here I am, holding a cup of coffee and telling you this. Anything with caffeine is just everything you need to keep yourself awake in the night, awake in the class, awake everywhere!

Six! I’m not much of a party person myself, but if you think parties are like the ones you see in Hollywood movies or a Karan Johar movie, go wash your face and snap out of your dream!

Seven! Bunking classes! Now bunking classes might seem cool and easy, but it’s not! You’ll have to keep your attendance in check every time, that is, if you don’t want to repeat a year!

Eight! College fests! Now that really depends on your college and the way they organise it! But because I’m spoiling everything else for you, I’m not gonna skip this one either! Attendances is usually taken in fests and if you plan on bunking it, well, think again! College fests are really fun, so try to mingle and contribute to it! Try to make it to the organising committee!

Nine! My god, if you think you can join all the clubs and stay in it, believe me, you’re wrong! After a point of time, you either get bugged up or kicked out, so yeah.

Ten! Teachers don’t care about you… now that’s not entirely true! Of course, it isn’t like school anymore, but there are a few teachers who care about you! Some of them even end up as your mentors and they’re really cool! But be on their good books! They’re the ones who can save your sorry ass when it comes to internal exams and attendance!

Eleven! You and your roommate are going to be best friends! This can be false almost all the time! But I clearly wanna highlight the “ALMOST”! I swear, my roommate and I, we’re like everything to each other! Best friends, sisters, critics, etc etc! But I have seen very few people like that! Usually they end up in their own worlds and not care much about the other person! If you are lucky enough, the way I am, then you’ll have the best time ever!

Twelve! RAGGING! Again, that depends on your college! Of course, the seniors love having a laugh at you guys but it’s not going to be anything serious! These seniors will become your guides and best friends too! As usual, be in their good books!

Thirteen! HOSTEL LIFE EVERYTHING YOU IMAGINED AND BEYOND! YES! The best part about college is the hostel life and it’s ten million times crazier than what you’ve imagined!

Fourteen! Everyone immediately starts dating! Well, I don’t really want to comment on that! That’s one thing that’ll shock you in college!

I won’t say more, because you’ll figure it out yourself! Just have patience and go at a slow pace! Make the most of everything you get and believe me, you’ll truly enjoy your freshman year! After all, it’s the best year of college! Good luck! 

CHANGE IS THE ONLY THING CONSTANT.

Have you ever stared at your closet and decided that there’s nothing to wear? Have you ever wondered why you need new clothes with every passing season? Ever wondered why the things you wore a year ago isn’t ‘in fashion’ anymore?

Yes. We all have had those moments! But what do we mean when we say something is ‘in fashion’? What is ‘fashion’ in the first place? What does it mean to you?

Fashion isn’t something that can be described, it has no fixed definition, and hence it is constantly changing! What might be fashionable to you might not mean anything to me. It is a form of expression; a way to tell things which we can’t put in words. It’s like art. We feel it, we experience it, we understand it; doesn’t mean the others have to! It’s our character; our attitude, taking form; magnifying our mind and letting the world in- now that is true fashion. Often, people mistake fashion to be something extremely materialistic; like bags, shoes, clothes- but it’s not that. There is nothing that defines who we are, and what our culture is, more than fashion does. It is a medium through which we frame and write history! Fashion can cause more than just a trend; it can spark a revolution. Take the French for example. While the aristocrats were known to take hours looking at fashion magazines, the peasants went ahead and began dressing in stripes. Cockades were widely worn by revolutionaries beginning in 1789; they produced the Tricolor Cockade. Today, the tricolor flag of France is derived from the cockades worn in 1789. The Liberty cap; it was a brimless, felt cap, but it represented much more than just a cap. It reflected republicanism; a symbol of his newfound liberty for a freed slave.

These accessories itself add to fashion through the ages. Nothing can ever be out of fashion; it just evolves into something new and different. The world has seen the change in this industry. Fashion divides the society into what it is. Yes, it sometimes seems like brands play a big role in dividing the society into the elite and the ‘not-so-elite’, but in reality, they mutually exist. The big brand which define fashion, take their inspiration from real and ordinary life, and make something extraordinary out it. These designs are unaffordable by the common folk, but, it trickles down through other designers, to the tailors, to the normal ‘affordable’ shops, where the common folk get a slightly altered version of the real creation. They wear it, they show it off, and this inspires the designer to create something new; the cycle continues.

To the people in the fashion industry, it is beyond what anyone can explain. These small accessories, bags, represent thousands of people, their jobs, their ideas, being turned into reality. It is as important as language is to the society. It adds to the culture, changes the culture, and brings us together in its own crooked way; true unity in diversity.
Fashion connects cultures and influences them. While we Indians are inspired by western culture, and mix that with our own, they take in our heritage and add it to their style. There are designers like Sabyasachi, who experiment with the Indian fashion through the ages, while designers like Satya Paul who add redefine fashion by adding abstract art and building a foundation for contemporary Indian fashion. It's not just them; you and I redefine fashion everyday.

In closing, I would like to say, fashion is everywhere. From the jeans you choose, to the Saris you buy, to the watches you wear, to the shirts you like; it is who you are, it defines you. So be proud of it, take it seriously. Experiment with it, take it lightly. But in the end, be yourself, and show off what you've put together; let the creativity in you flow- it's your life, it's your signature, your meaning; and hey, you have every right to give your own definition to something that doesn’t have one or need one, right? So, let’s begin with fashion then. 

IT'S MY CHOICE TO NOT SUPPORT 'MY CHOICE'.

MY CHOICE; this video, directed by Homi Adajania has literally gone viral for all the wrong reasons! If you haven’t watched it yet, here’s the link. Watch it, and then read the post.
(Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtPv7IEhWRA) 

I didn’t post a status on Facebook, or tweet on Twitter, or blog about it. Basically, I did nothing. ‘Why?’ you ask? I believe in silence till I can reach a conclusion. And before I do, I like to go through all the possibilities of what something can or cannot mean. And now that I have reached a conclusion, I am ‘obviously’ going to blog about it- my choice. 

First of all, I was shocked that Vogue India did not think of the consequences it would cause to their #VogueEmpower campaign before releasing this video. I mean, I honestly loved the video directed by Vikas Bahl featuring Alia Bhatt, called ‘Going Home’. It was cute, it was simple, but it was really powerful when it came to sending out a message, and the best part? Its message was extremely clear. But what happened to ‘My Choice’? Looks like Vogue India went wrong with its choice.

As Vogue India Itself mentioned in the description of the video- what happens when 99 women from varying walks of life come together to send out one powerful message? I’ll tell you what happens. The whole society goes gaga over it because the message 99 women are giving out- 99, that’s a lot- is completely wrong. And what’s worse? That the wrong message you’re giving out is actually powerful. Destruction⁹⁹, that’s what it is.

When I began watching the video, I didn’t quite realise what was happening. I’m not stupid, but the video is very vivid and doesn’t really make a lot of sense. It looked like these women had something extremely major against the society, and it seemed very aggressive. Nevertheless, I continued watching and realization began to dawn upon me. Feminism; that’s the whole deal out here! Pretty cool; so I continued watching.

Then, this happened.

“To have sex before marriage”, yeah okay, no one has issues with that, it IS your choice. “To have sex outside of marriage; my choice” wait, what? Excuse me, did I hear that right? Outside of marriage; really, that’s your ‘choice’?

No it’s not. Neither is it a privilege. Promoting feminism, gender equality- that’s one thing; promoting adultery- now that’s a different thing. Whether you are a male or a female, adultery does not come off as a 'choice' in the first place.

Honestly, nature has created women physically weak and emotionally stronger than men, and the vice versa. If we’re expecting men to give birth to babies; women to lift 100s of KGS in a construction site- that’s not gender equality. GENDER EQUALITY COMES WITH ACCEPTANCE. Accept the opposite gender as they are, and you shall already be equal to them.

Yes, I agree, that not just in India, but throughout the world, there is an air of male dominance and it cannot be wiped off in a day, but, female dominance isn’t an option. Equality is; dominance isn’t. Honestly, I saw a lot of my own friends sharing that video and promoting the so called equality, but think about it. If a man came up you and told you that “sex outside of marriage is his choice”, would you make a video of it and share it on YouTube, calling it a powerful message? Or would you take those slippers off and smack him on the head with it? I think we’d choose Option 2. Now, if a man isn’t allowed to do this, and is looked down by the society, then can a woman be given this choice? I found this video that supports this article. 

Do watch it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhjOnXGXpHo&amp, it’s much more ‘powerful’ than the original video itself.

In closing, I would like to say that this video definitely did not turn out to be empowering or unbiased. In turn, it was aggressive, unclear, biased… to sum it all up in one sentence, all this video did manage to tell was this: “I am awesome, boys you suck; get lost!” and has definitely hurt the male populace of the country. Sincere apologies from every female; we love you. Remember, your gender does not matter, but your choices do. your choices affect others lives as much as they affect yours, and the effect might be terrible if you take the wrong choices. if you want others to take your decisions, your choices seriously, then be true to yourself about what you want first. Vogue India has been coming up with really touching campaigns, but after 'My Choice', they need to compensate the loss by putting forward simpler and clearer content for the audience. Good luck Team Vogue; stay true to your name!  

MASABA GUPTA; THE CANDY OF HER KIND.

The recent collection by Masaba Gupta in the Lakme is everything I want in my wardrobe. Right here; right now! I totally love it! The collection, also called as Sugar Plum, is a very minimalist collection with a splash of the right colours in the right quantities. And this is India's first ever #DigitalRunway show! Now that is a big step ahead! Kudos to Masaba! Not just for bring out an excellent collection, but also for using Instagram as the platform to showcase her work! Can you believe it folks? A fashion ‘show’ on Instagram! Not only has this brought a change, but it has a created a new wave which I'm sure the other designers will follow; or atleast consider! To check it out, go to instagram.com/masabagupta; it’s totally worth it!

From the patterns to the contrast of colours, Masaba seems to have put in her touch of uniqueness in it. Bright colours, girly yet sharp patterns, geometrical prints- name it, and it’s there! The collection is mainly dipped in yellow, green, shades of red and pink, brown, gold, pastels and white! Just so vibrant! The “orange and green” Aztec print is the main attraction in the collection and is used on a majority of outfits. It’s so attractive that I can’t stop drooling over it! Honestly, I want a crop top with that print! (Crop top + Black high waist short + black boots= dream come true!) But when I took another look at the collection, it looked like there was too much of that print. Maybe Masaba should’ve gone a bit easy on that. The collection, which is based in toffees and candies has one quotient that cannot be ignored at all; THE CANDY ITSELF! Almost each outfit has a toffee; a gigantic one at that; pasted right across it in different angles! Have you ever eaten one of the butter-toffees you get; the really chewy and sticky ones? Yup, exactly like that! The length of the outfits is also another eye-catcher in the collection. Most of them seem to long skirts or maxi dresses.

This collection, released in mid-summer, is everything a girl needs in spring/summer! It’s young, it’s fresh, and it’s full of energy! Plus, it seems to be really airy and light to carry. “Sugar Plum” is a very realistic collection that can actually be worn in real life without looking like a hideous bean bag! But keep your accessories simple with this collection or you’ll just end up looking like a ‘paint box explosion’ victim. Since the colours are bright enough for the sun to shy away, go with very dull and decent shades of black and brown or a pure shade of white; if you plan on adding and mixing clothes and bags to your outfit.

Lastly, my personal favourites! Without any doubt, it has to be LOOK 3, and LOOK 9! and also, the pink dress worn by Nargis Fakhri was an absolute killer, making me want to cry in happiness!

These are so… me! The whites really bring out the colours in both the outfits, especially in the peasant dress (look 3), where the brown and gold makes the dress- there’s no other word for it- delicious! Good work Masaba! Me likey!

LOOK 03

LOOK 09

The rest of ‘Sugar Plum’ collection can be viewed below! Feel free to leave your comments and let me know that your favourite outfit is!

I’ll see you soon! 

LIFE AFTER 'BOARD EXAMS'; YOU SHALL SURVIVE.

"That awkward moment in an exam when you don't know anything, and you start laughing because you know you're fucked!"

So, dear juniors (you’re probably freaking out and checking what your zodiac holds for you; everyday), I heard your 12^th grade board exams sucked. How does it feel huh? Don’t blame me; I didn’t spy (really, I promise), I just read The Times of India, and boom- splashed on the front page- ‘MATH SCREWS CHILDREN OVER AGAIN- WALKS AWAY HAPPILY; CBSE BOARD FINALLY SATISFIED’. If you are one of those juniors who is on the verge of losing his/her shit or considering other career options, like selling coconuts maybe, believe me, this article is for you.

So, obviously, my last encounter with CBSE boards is recent, not ten million years ago. It was last year, and I’m happy to tell you- I’ve survived; still fat, not that fit, but healthy and breathing. So calm down and continue reading. I’m not going to assure you that your life will be truly amazing after the board exam results are out, because I haven’t even completed my first year in college yet, but- you shall live. And people shall forgive and forget, and the herd will move on; I can guarantee you this.

All my life, my parents, teachers, few stupid seniors, few tuition teachers, and basically 3/4^th of the world always told me that board exams were the MOST important thing in my life. After my 4^th grade finals, my teacher told me I had to perform the same way in my boards. I didn’t even know what boards were! Then, 8^th grade happened. Wow, high school and all that- where someone finally educated us on what board exams were, and how 10^th grade was super important to us. Just when we thought we got out shit together, CBSE brilliantly changed the examination pattern, and all the knowledge we had about the board exams went down the drain. They introduced CCE. I saw all my seniors get a CGPA above 9.6, and I decided- whatever that was, I was going to nail it; easy stuff. I later realised that my seniors were just smart and there was nothing more irritating than the CCE pattern. Somehow, magically, I passed 10^th grade like every other CBSE student, thanks to the new pattern, which made every child feel special. But was it over? Oh no. CBSE has a diabolical sense of humour. And that’s called 12^th grade.

Now like every other student who isn’t really sure of what to do in life, choosing the Science stream seemed like the safest bet. I always knew that I wanted a career in something related to Media. But no, I had a stupid logic that if I woke up some day, wanting to be a doctor, I wouldn’t be able to if I was in Humanities, but Science had the ability to get me through anything, and that would be my ultimate choice.

And believe me, if you can sit through every science class for 2 years, not understanding a single word, and still believe in yourself and your ability to pass, you can sail through anything.

One month before the board exams, I realised I hadn’t passed a single exam in Math in my 12^th grade, and there was literally no chance of me passing the boards; nope- no way! Just to be clear here, and boast a bit; I’m not stupid. If you’re judging me, thinking, “Hah, what a stupid child, can’t pass Math and all!” I will beat you up. I just hated Math so much, and all the other subjects (basically Physics, Chemistry and some part of Biology) too had Math! “Math” automatically got me to hate the Science stream. For me, exams meant acing the English exam. That’s all.

Board exams finally came around, and we all were like "Wah bhai, this is some serious shit, this is the true challenge in life, this is going to make me a drug addict, or even worse; an engineer", and board exams finally went away, and I came back home crying, freaking out, that my life was over. Now the thing about 12^th grade boards is that it is ‘supposed to’ decide your fate. Reality check: IF YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR BOARD EXAM CERTIFICATE, NO ‘DATE OF BIRTH’ CLARIFICATION, MEANS NO PASSPORT FOR YOU. A PASSPORT WILL LET YOU ROAM THE WORLD, AND YOU CAN HAVE FUN. FUN IS IMPORTANT IN LIFE. NO FUN MEANS BAD LIFE. HENCE, BOARD EXAM IS IMPORTANT.

I swear; this is how the logic works. Okay maybe not entirely, like, you need it till June, to get into a ‘good’ college and all, but that’s it! After that, nobody remembers anything! All those times your parents have compared you to poor kids who score well, your sibling who have better brains, your friends who cheat and score better than you; all those times your teachers have told you that this is the end of your life, times where your parents have given you lectures on how poor kids study with no facilities, and how much you suck, and how you have no future; basically all those moments; one word- BULLSH*T.

Look at us- your seniors- we survived; we got into a good college. I’ve known so many people who’ve scraped through boards and still ended up with a better future than the topper of their batch. I’ve met people with 60%, and also people with 90%, but nobody cares. It’s shocking how they literally put all their f*cks back into their pockets and just leave. No f*cks given. Your college professors won’t care; the students don’t care; your siblings don’t care (Okay, that’s a lie!); the society will find a new victim to prey on, and most of all, your parents will accept it and let it go. They won't disown you.

Every year, 100000000000’s of people appear in these exams (plus or minus one). Of course all of us can’t end up in IIT’s and St. Stephen's, and the other 'elite' colleges, but life goes on. You think I'm kidding? The topper of my batch (2014), Sarthak Agarwal, got a whooping 99.6% in the Science stream, and still didn't get into St. Stephen's. Not because he wasn't smart, but because the college has inhuman expectations. You worrying about it now won’t help you in any way, and the tension might just ruin your chances in the entrance exams. About that irritating neighbor who cares so much about your marks- look on the bright side- once it’s over, she’s out of your life. Maybe she’ll hover around for a month, but that’s going to be the end of it. You won’t end up as her dinner.

On a serious note though, I’m not saying these exams aren’t necessary, but they aren’t the end of your life. You still have the same opportunities, you still have the same chances; you can still achieve because there’s a lot more that life has to offer, example- your college exams. You just have to be true to yourself and believe in yourself. So what if you screwed it up? You’re not the only one. So what if you fail? As bad as it may seem, you are still lucky to have a second chance. So what if you didn’t get into your dream college? Join an ‘ordinary’ one and show them your capability. And if you hate the stream like I did, just get your shit together and start following your dream. 

Don’t let board exams spoil your trust and belief in yourself. They’re mere exams in the end. Life has so much more to offer if you are willing to accept it. There will be other issues and other problems to worry about, and 20 years down the lane, you’ll laugh about the fact that you were worried about your board exams out of all the things. Just accept it as it comes and put your best efforts into the entrance exams, and life will work out in its own strange ways.

For now, good luck for your results. May God be with you (let religion bring you peace).

O.K, BYE.

P.S:  Just in case you need tissues in May, start saving up now. If you pass with flying colors, calm the f*ck down; nobody cares after a week. That's all. 

LIFE, AFTER YOU STOP BEING A SOYA BEAN

“Never miss a party...good for the nerves--like celery.” 

― F. Scott Fitzgerald, Gatsby Girls

“Oh my God, there are so many people here! Why are there so many people on this planet? I need to go back and sleep; alone time is so important!” is something I usually think every day; 12 hours a day, I actually do get my alone time. Frankly, I’m so obsessed with the concept of ‘alone time’ after I came to college, that it took me an entire semester to realize that I had stopped socializing. 

Let me give you an example of how much I’d stopped participating in group activities. Recently, we had our college fest. Now, no matter where you are, no matter what you’re studying, no matter which grade you are in- school or college; fests are a very big deal! Everyone wants to participate, everyone wants to contribute; everyone except me. Why? Well, ‘too many people’ worked as a standard excuse. So when I actually looked around and realized I was pretty much the only one not contributing to the fest, I fell into my own guilt trap. After hours of contemplating, I decided I’d sign up to paint the Quadrangle (which is the empty space in the centre of the college, painted according to the theme of the fest every year), and somehow, I didn’t feel bad about it. Because 1. I love painting; LOVE isn’t even the word, but let’s just stick to that for now! 2. Because it is easy for me to zone out people when I paint, and 3. It was in the night, which meant I would get extra perm time, and I could enter my hostel at midnight without getting kicked out! It all seemed great and fell into place perfectly, and for the first time, I was sort of excited about something related to college. On the first night of painting the Quadrangle, I silently walked into the college, and tried to find a place to sit and decide what and where to start painting. And then, this happened: one classmate of mine who happened to notice me shrieked out in shock and everyone started clapping. Why? Because I was out in college, ‘contributing’ for the first time! 

Let me make one thing very clear here. They thought I didn’t show up because I was lazy; that’s not true. I was not lazy; I was ignorant towards it. Of course I joined in and laughed it off and continued my work, but this incident made me realise that my presence in college activities was so rare, that it was considered a sight when it actually happened. After this, I constantly began participating in more activities. Even though I internally despised it, I pushed myself to shut up, stop thinking, and go ahead and do it. After two months of constantly pushing myself into accepting this behaviour, I am glad to say, it was one of the best decisions I ever took.

In my school, I was a part of everything! So much that the teachers asked me to ‘participate’ in studying more, and not come to school just to be a part of extracurricular activities, or to socialize with people. I don’t really know how to explain this, but once I entered college, I decided to take a break from ‘participating’, and give some time to ‘contemplate’ things, and what I didn’t notice is that it had turned into an obsession, and I’d actually stopped participating. 

I hadn’t really thought about it positively, till now. Thinking out loud, expressing ideas, contributing and participating with real or fake enthusiasm; they have their perks. Most of the people who I consider significant in my life belong to this category and I find myself constantly fascinated by them. Honestly, if given a choice, I would choose socializing over alone time now. There are so many people around which also means- so many behaviours, so many personalities, so many different thought processes, so many ideas, so many possibilities and so many stories. Being a part of something, mingling with people; all of these not only helps the group on the whole, but also helps you as an individual, to become a better person. You learn to adjust and alter your attitude towards things and obtain a better result out of it. 

Does this mean I’ve completely given up on individual contribution and ‘alone time’? Hell no. I honestly think a balance between the both is necessary, which I can say from personal experience. There are a few things I want to do alone and take complete credit for. There are times when I don’t want people around and I honestly enjoy my own company. But what I’m trying to say is that doing ‘only’ this will help you in no way and draw you into a shell. Surrounded by people, you learn to be confident and accept your flaws with ease. You realise you are at your happiest when you join with people and lose your shit. I’m not joking. Moments you spend alone, you choose not to forget. Moments spent with people are the ones that can’t be forgotten! You not only learn to accept who you are socially, but over time, you begin to encourage and accept others for their personalities, and you begin to see the beauty in them. You become more cheerful, more imaginative, more entertaining, more sharing, less boring, more talkative, and more expressive and above all, more caring. Now, if you are like me, you’d probably ask “okay, all that’s amazing, yay, but let’s get to the point; how is this going to profit me?”, yes, for those of you who do not know me, *ahem* I *ahem*  can *ahem ahem* be a bitch *ahem* at times *ahem ahem*. Well, guess what? All of the above qualities will not only get a job, but will help you keep it. Now if this piece of information won’t make you happy and convince you to socialize, I don’t know what will.

Finally, all I’d like to say is that, if you’re alone, and if you’re sitting in a dark room … or the library, and reading this article, then stop right now (no, wait, I’m kidding, stop after 3 more sentences), get out of that place, go out, stand next the group of classmates you never talk to otherwise, look creepy, look insane, look innocent and shy, but just get involved and stat talking! Start making friends! Start participating! Believe me; you might have a lifetime ahead of you filled with a job in an office cubicle and a lot of alone time, but this moment, this chance right here, to make yourself a better person, nah- you’re not getting a lifetime supply of this! It’s now or never! So go out there, and go NOW! 

Your presence is the life of the conversation. Your idea was the one they were waiting for all along. 

A 'TOMORROW' COMES EVERYDAY; 'TODAY' COMES JUST ONCE

“What day is it?"

"It's today," squeaked Piglet.

"My favorite day," said Pooh.

I’m not really sure if I should be the one writing this article, considering the fact that I myself am not a person who lives in the moment, but the past few days have made me wonder if it’s really worth it to wait and let things fall where they may. Maybe writing this will help me too. I don’t know. 

“Planning the future and strategically executing it” is what I was always taught. Be it relationships, education, decisions, moments, anything; planning it out is necessary. It helps you on a long term basis, and you keep track on where are how you’re going. I think this is what we all are taught. But is it really true? What if this ‘future’ we depend on so blindly, the ‘future’ we think is certain, does not exist? What if this is it? What if this word, this sentence, this laughter, the sorrow, this very moment is all you’re going to have? What if today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again?

If you were to perish the next second, is this the life you are truly happy to have lived? 

Let me guess? No. Not just you and I, but 95% of the people would say no. And how do I know this? I don’t actually. But I am one of you people, and we all belong here. I can merely guess and hope that I am not in this- alone.  

‘Live like every day is your last’, ‘You Only Live Once (YOLO)’, ‘Live like there’s no tomorrow’, how often do we toss these sentences around? As a joke maybe! Or maybe we’re just trying to be cool! How many of us actually wake up every morning thinking “I’m not going to be there tomorrow. Let me live today like it’s the last!” None of us! We have faith; we have hope that no matter what happens, it won’t be us to lose out on a moment. That it will come back to us some other day, and life will give us a lot of chances to live these moments. But if you were to die the next moment, think about it, what would be the one thing you’d want to do, and have you done it already? Sadly, the answer is no; for me, for you and for everyone else. 

We might have the slightest crush on someone, we might love our dog too much, we might actually hate something to the extent of destroying it and we might dislike a person to the extent of scarring them for life. We might love a pet of ours whom we don’t get to spend time with. We might love to sing but we’re too scared to do it. We might want to pursue something but we’re too scared of being judged. But so what? They are going to judge you anyway, but you are not going to get this moment again. Your crush might not walk past you again. So what if he/she doesn’t like you back? At least you will be making their day! Does she like you back? Lean in, kiss her already! You might have never told your sibling how much you care for them, but show it to them once. Who knows, if you aren’t here tomorrow, maybe they’ll have a memory to smile about. Ever promised to catch up with someone? Promised to meet them? Then do it! Your parents; tell them you love them! Go and hug your mom right now, go and tell your dad that you’re proud to be his kid. Do you live away from home like I do? Then call them! 

Go to the nearest beach, or any place you love, some place you’ve always wanted to go to and leave your cameras aside. You have enough pictures. But do you have enough memories? Sit, breathe in, look around, live the moment. Close your eyes, and make that moment stay. Your pictures are for the world to see, but memories? Memories are personal. You can share your experiences with people, but the memories stay in our heart, in our own versions. Both of them are important. Experience will help you develop skills but memories; those are the ones that keep the fuel burning inside you, urging you never to stop. Maybe we’ll never get to go to another city, another country, but so what? Know that park near your home where ‘stupid kids’ make noise and play the whole day? Yeah, you used to be one of them, and that used to be your heaven! Go there, take your friends along. Want to go bungee jumping? Do it! Want to go to a strip club? Go there already! Want to get drunk? Want to do something crazy? Do it! (By that, I do not mean overdose on heroin and die) Want to talk about something? Talk now, talk about everything! Let your emotions and feelings out! Be kind, be compassionate, be fun, be truthful, be what you want to be because you might not wake up to be that tomorrow. Want to eat that ice cream so bad but you’re too scared that you might gain some weight? Just shut up already and eat it. 

Whenever someone told me to live in the moment and accept it as it came, I always told them that I was not that person. That I would give everything some time, and when it’s the right time, it would seem like the right thing to do. But I didn’t realize how wrong I was. Yes, I agree that certain things need a plan or you might just end up nowhere. But I lost few people, few moments and few experiences that I let go of, and I know I’m never getting them again, and it took so much to make me realize that having plans in life is one thing. Making life a plan, now that’s another thing, and believe me, it’s not worth it. In the end, we only regret the chances we never took. What wouldn’t I give to get another chance to be able to do things, say things; make things count? And as harsh as it sounds, who knows if your loved ones are going to be here tomorrow? Who knows if you are going to be here for them?  Seizing each moment in life allows us to prolong its value and make it more meaningful. Rather than seeking quantity of time, when we live in the moment we enjoy and savor every minute. You have to believe that this moment will change your life, and you have to live it! Stop waiting for the right moment, and make this count. Go ahead and commit the perfect mistake. 

What’s gone is the past, what’s coming is the future. This moment is a gift, and that is why it is called a present. 

IF I COULD TALK TO YOU ONE LAST TIME

The first time I saw Prasad, July 14th 2012.

"In my dreams

I'll always see you soar

Above the sky

In my heart

There will always be a place

For you for all my life

I'll keep a part

Of you with me

And everywhere I am

There you'll be"

I can’t forget a single minute of the very first time I saw him; something for which I was teased and even called ‘creepy’. July 14th, 2012, a group of musicians walked into the assembly hall of my school. We had our cultural fests going on, and I was the MC. The last minute stress of changing half the script was massive for an 11th grader who hadn’t really done this before. While I was hovering around my teacher asking for the names of those musicians, who were now setting up their instruments, I began to point at each of them, till I reached the last one that stood out from the rest. All of them were in white, he was in green. All of them were talking; he was looking straight back at me. It took me around 5 seconds to realize that I wasn’t just pointing; I was ogling like a retarded child. “That’s Prasad”, my teacher said, and I immediately wrote down his name; not in the script, but in a piece of paper. I had already decided to stalk this guy. The afternoon passed by soon, and I kept searching for him. The last time I saw him was on July 14th, 2012, standing at the door of the assembly hall, after the show; staring back. The moment I went home, I gathered some guts to talk to a senior of mine, Rajesh, whom I’d have never spoken to otherwise, just to trick him into giving me Prasad’s Facebook address.

Today, March 02nd 2015, the same Rajesh sent me a message on Facebook to inform me that Prasad had passed away. 

Later that night, after the fest, I contemplated a lot and sent him a request. I waited but nothing happened. The next evening, when I logged in, the first message was from Prasad; which I have till date. “heyyyy nice to see u here ... and trust me u r the best MC i've seen ... and to meet you after MCing in rotary club the previous nite,you made me realize there are many more talented n beautiful MCs around”.

I couldn’t believe it. And that’s how we began talking. There are few things in life that can’t be explained. Few relationships that need no description, few things that happen that have no reason. I didn’t speak much to my friends about how I’d actually managed to talk to this guy, and I don’t really know why. But I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to anyone who I hadn’t met (in person) in more than 2 and a half years about everything on earth. I don’t think anyone would have the patience to talk even after I blatantly refused to meet him or her, but he did. 

And the last time I spoke to him, I asked him never to talk to me again. I wish he hadn’t taken that seriously. I wish that was one thing God didn’t take seriously. And I’d give anything to go back in time and talk to him again; just talk to him and ask him to stay. I wish I could let him know how important he was to me. But something tells me that he knew. 

From encouraging me to write and paint to being one of the driving forces while I chose my professional course, from asking me to be brave and being there for me whenever I was weak, to putting up with all my drama and insults and still not giving up, from being a friend who was so much more than just that to teaching me how to be one too, he changed my life even without meeting me. Those occasional phone calls, the muffled laughter at my stupidity, his requests for me to sing for him once, the immediate review of everything I ever did, even if it was something as small as a doodle, or something as big as my valedictorian speech, everything has framed me into becoming a better person, and I can never thank him enough for that. 

Why did you have to leave? Why is it that so many people want to die, but are never given a chance to, and people like you who make everyone’s life better by being a part of it are taken away by not being given a choice? Why were you made to leave? Why you, of all the people? I guess this is a question neither of us can ever answer. Now, as much as I regret never meeting you, I guess it was a good thing that I didn’t, or how would I take this loss? Tell me. 

Prasad, I don’t know if I can talk to you now and if you’d listen. I don’t know if you will ever reply to me in any way, but I’m so sorry for all the stupid things I’ve ever said or done. And I’m so grateful, that you were a part of my life, still are, and will be forever. Thank you, for being such an amazing friend, guide and support. Not for once will I think it was stupid to stalk you and make you talk to me, because it brought me closer to you and I am eternally grateful for that. Thank you for making me who I am today and I know, that in that way, you’ll be with me forever. You asked me never to stop doing what I love, and I promise that I’ll always keep that in mind. I promise never to stop writing, because you told me you'd read even if no one else did. I promise to live the life that you thought I would, and I promise to be true to it. And I promise to always make you a part of it. 

I love you- always have; always will. 

Rest in peace Prasad, I miss you. 

THE 'LUXURY' AND THE ELITE- A real fairy tale.

Luxury: pronounced: ˈlʌkʃ(ə)ri/ 

(Noun)

A state of great comfort or elegance, especially when involving great expense.

Example: "He lived a life of luxury!"

Synonyms: Opulence, luxuriousness, sumptuousness, richness, costliness, grandeur, grandness, splendor, magnificence, lavishness, lap of luxury, bed of roses, milk and honey.

Oh no, I’m not giving English lessons, calm down. This is the meaning of luxury on Google. I'm just surprised why the synonyms don't include 'affordable things'. I was in a magazine store today, which is- according to me- one of the best places on earth. For those who do not know this already, I’m extremely choosy. And 3/4th of the times, this works against me. Anyway, I happened to come across this month’s Outlook Business magazine, and there was just one sentence on the cover; The Future of LUXURY. And this was accompanied by one picture; a bow-tie made of diamonds. Obviously, this interested me and I ended up buying this issue. When I went through it, I was like “I can’t believe I wasted my time over this, what the hell!”Because it was nothing but a fashion mag! I’m not kidding! But after a while, I figured Outlook Business does know how to make business out of anything, and none of what I got was a waste. Why? One word: Luxury. My luxury: Ideas.

On going through this book again, I realised that luxury always meant brand, cost and quality. But look around, is that real luxury? When we think about it, don’t we all have our own definition of luxury? For one person, it might be fine dining, a day out in Paris, and some Louis Vuitton bags. For the other, it might be eating Roti and Paneer from a roadside stall, going out with his family to a beach once in 3 years, and bargaining for a bag that costs 300 Rupees in a small shop, and expecting to get it at 150. For a rich kid, luxury might be just another watch from Rolex. For a kid from the lower middle class, or a kid with limited means, a Fastrack watch is something he’d cherish for life. Am I being arrogant and judgemental? Being a kid from the upper middle class myself, I can tell you, this is the harsh reality.

But my question is simple: Why doesn’t a magazine ever show a jute bag from a roadside stall as luxury? Why doesn’t the media ever notice what appeals to the common man the most?

I’m an avid reader of fashion magazines. And I’ve always tried to compare Femina with Vogue India; usually drawing to a conclusion that Femina is for the general folk. But in the recent past, the products mentioned in this magazine too are not very affordable. What I’m trying to say here is that when magazines do not show the people what 3/4th of the country lives on; if these magazines do not show what we can actually afford, what is the point? Is it just another pamphlet showing the rich what they can buy this season, and reminding the poor where they stand? 

What really is luxury?

I don’t want to seem like a hypocrite to the people who know me in reality, so I’m going to admit it; I am a brand freak. But one must never lose perspective of what is a ‘want’ and what is ‘need’. One must never think that luxury and class are equivalent to money and richness. No, that’s not how it works. The concept of ‘luxury’ has been there since the beginning of civilization. The obvious divide between social classes in earlier civilizations brought the concept that luxury was limited to the elite classes. And that shaped and redefined the definition of luxury. Everything the poor couldn’t have and the elite could was labelled as luxury. 

While this word is used in everyday lives to refer to certain lifestyle, the definition is specific to consumers and situations. An ice-cream would be a really big luxury item for you if you earned less than a $ per day. But if you are going to a party in the so called “elite” sector of the society, a $100,000 car may not be a luxury, but something of an embarrassment.

This brings out a multi dimensional perspective towards what luxury really is, and what media and society needs to promote, and what the true idea behind this word is. The attempts always define luxury such as high price, high quality, uniqueness, exclusivity etc. However, even with the obvious staring right at our faces, why is it still unclear; ‘What is Luxury?’ 

So what do you think is luxury? 

SHOULD PROSTITUTION BE MADE COMPLETELY LEGAL IN INDIA, OR SHOULD IT REMAIN WITH LIMITED LEGALITY?

So, I was just going through few articles and statistics, to keep myself from getting bored in the library, and I came across the term ‘Prostitution’, and the biggest question that followed, ‘Should prostitution be made legal in India?’

Before reading this article, you should know that yes, prostitution is legal in India, but the definition is limited to the exchange of money for sex, and does not include pimping, brothel-keeping and soliciting sex in any other way. In other words, prostitution has limited legality in India.

Firstly, for anyone new to this term, prostitution is the practice or occupation of engaging in sexual activity with someone for payment. This is the definition you’ll find on Google. This is probably the only definition you’ll find anywhere. There has been a huge never-ending argument if this profession (point to be noted: it isn't considered a profession in the first place by many in this country) should be made completely legal or not. Even if it is legal, should it be regulated? Should the law be amended where complete liberty is given to the prostitutes? Should it be made illegal again? There are countries where prostitution is completely legal, few of them are Singapore, Argentina, Belgium, New Zealand, UK and Venezuela. In Afghanistan, Cambodia, Angola, Egypt, Iraq, South Africa, Saudi Arabia, UAE and a few other countries, prostitution is illegal. And then, there are few countries similar to India, like Bangladesh, United States, Australia, Iceland and Malaysia, where the laws show limited legality. 

Few argue that it should be made completely legal. When asked why, the answers held reasons like these; 

1. Prostitution has been around since the beginning of mankind. Most anti-prostitution laws were passed over a 100 years ago. It happens every day throughout the world, so why not make money off it and reduce the risk in it? It is simply two consenting adults exchanging a service for money. It should be as legal as a plumber’s profession or as that of a maid. Also like plumbers, sex workers could also form work unions to gain more rights.
2. The number of rapes would decrease, as desperation would find an outlet.
3. STD's are usually contracted from a non-prostitute, because prostitutes keep themselves in check. So, STD’s would decrease.
4. The fight against human trafficking can be fought in a better way, because people’s legal consent would be obtained without fear. (What?) 
5. It could be taxed and the government could benefit out of it. Not exactly a profit for the client, but still, a profit on the whole.
6. Sex is good for your health and it is scientifically proven. If more people in India have sex, maybe we'd be a little less of an obese country and it may lower heart disease. (Of course!)
7. More jobs, which would reduce unemployment. 
8. If abortion is legal, why not prostitution? We always hear the argument "It's my body..." right? Why doesn't it apply to this subject?
9. People are doing it regardless of what the law says. Drugs can have a negative effect on a person, but prostitution has very few minor downsides, so what’s the harm?
10. There would be less crimes regarding sex.
11. The government would not only be able to make money of taxed prostitution, but save on various places where they have to invest, like the police, the prison, etc. It’s beneficial for the country. 
12. If the woman is encouraged to use her mind and make a living, why can’t she be allowed to use her body?

Few, on the other hand, were against prostitution being made legal and wanted the status to change. Reasons are as follows:

1. There is a huge risk that a person might get affected by HIV/AIDS.
2. There are other ways to make a living. There are so many other jobs, then why this?
3. Women have other choices, but it is cheap to find an easy way out.
4. It is wrong to women to sell their bodies, because it is disrespectful.
5. It makes the men look like they are the dominant sector of the society and use women. (Aren't there male prostitutes too?)
6. Real men don’t buy women.
7. As a prostitute get’s older, you really think she’ll be able to continue as a prostitute? What will she do for a living then?
8. High risk of dying.
9. Men can rape these prostitutes, but find an easy way out by stating that it is legal.
10. There are not only women who are prostitutes; there are also children who are prostitutes, who have been forced into this profession. How fair is that?
11. It affects the moral status of the society.
12. The prostitutes might turn into drug addicts and alcoholics or support these illegal activities.
13. Health related issues will emerge, and respect in the society will founder.
14. Prostitutes might not find other jobs, and they would also have no one who could take care of them, causing emotional and psychological damage, depression and loneliness.
15. Have sex, but not on the streets or in a strangers car. Keep it classy and less trashy. It’s called making love for a reason.

After the survey, I decided not to take sides when writing about this issue, but to ask a simple yet complicated question to you readers, “What is your opinion about this issue?” 

(Please comment below.)